OK, so I decided to give this whole Ubuntu/Bash for Windows thing a spin. I like the idea of native Linux binaries on Windows for what it is. I mean, I’m still only going to use the thing where I have to. But it does make Windows a lot more bearable.
I even took the ansible playbook I use to set up an Ubuntu machine for me to develop on and pointed it at my windows host (after splitting out the X dependencies, which I needed to do anyway). Outside of a package that’s not in Xenial that I was bringing in on Yakkety, it just worked. I even I have neovim PPA set up and all my syntax checking nonsense working for nearly every language on the planet.
I still would rather have a Linux host or my Mac and have a real Unix userspace, but it appears to be a little better than my old Cygwin setup and a lot easier to manage.